Tuesday, February 12, 2013

A Mistake (24)

لو كنت أستطييع آنْ لآ أحْبـك ,لفعلتْ

His Birthday was coming up there is no way to wish him a happy birthday unless I call him, So it was 20/9 and aziz's birthday is on the 21st, I waited till the clock strinked 12 and called him immdiatly
I called once
three times
And all I could hear was the machine repeating the same words that "the mobile is switched off or is out of the coverage area"
Now what? his bb was off as well so he couldn't receive anything on bbm or whatsapp. I got so frustrated how could he keep his phone shut the whole time he's there.
He would've atleast get an english sim card and connect the bbm, but who am I to tell him.
I decided to send him a whatsapp maybe he'll just connect his phone to the wifi

 تمنيت أكون أول من يهنيك
وأكون فهاليوم منك قريب بس شاءت
الأقداروكل واحد منافطريق
مدري من السبب أنا ولاّ إنت بس اللي أعرفه
كل واحد منا عن الثاني بعيد
حبيبي أنامانسيت وبهاليوم الشمع ضويت
ولما جا الوقت طيفك هنيت
كل عام وانت بخيرترى والله لك حنيت
الله يحفظك ياأغلى من حبيت

kil 3am winta ib alf 5air ya a'3la aziz bil dinya 3ogbal il 10000 sina inshala o tkon hal sina sinat 5air o sa3ada o ayamik kilha fara7 mithil ma inta 5air 3alay 7awalt ati9il bas your phone is off all I can do is send you this ma3ina shwaya 3alayk bas shasawee mabede shay I hope your having fun and happy birthday 7ayaty, and just to let you know that I miss u :(
oo أَحبك لـو كل الَنَاسْ عـارضـونِــــي

There was no response from Aziz, Even though he read it, he didnt reply in other words aziz ignored me when I wished him all the best! I gave up on him i"m giving him my all and he's not willing to give me a couple of minutes from his time. How come he doesnt misss me when all I do is miss him? ma akser 5a6ra 7ata? ma3goola akoo nas yt'3ayirown chthee?  
أكثر مآ يؤلمني هو آنك تعلم أني كل ما آكتبه يقصدك وآنت مآزلت تقرأ ﺑصمت

Days passed by so slowly I couldn't wait till he gets back here so that I get things cleared up with up. I am fed up this time I am not backing out I have to confront him! atleast I could move on I just need an answer to whats going on!
غيابك حكايه تُحزن اوقاتيَ ..

Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Mistake (23)

I know that I'm not a good blogger and it takes me forever to post but things keep coming up that distract me from the blog. madree itha  layl7en feee nas tgra my blog, bas this to all of you waiting enjoy ;*

لا تعشمني بَ حبك ثم تروح يا تجيني عمر ولا لا تجي.. ما ٱخاف أعيش من بعدك جروح بس ٱخاف أحب غيرك ثم تجي

As I mentioned before things with 3azeez kept getting worse over time and I kept hanging on to him. He was the first guy that I fall in love with. I was so attached to him that the thought of losing him just breaks my heart! He used to be so good to me and I don't really know what happened? Is it possible that he replaced me with someone else? A girl that would keep her man satisfied and happy. I was never going to give him more than what he got because I'm better than this! t3arfooon laama 6ol 3omrkom masken roo7kom min inkom t7iboon witkalmoom o lama tyeen t7beenlich wa7id '6ameerich dayman iy2anbich and your pride keeps you from doing many things that other girls are willing to do?

That was how i felt back then I was hopeless I couldn't do anything about it because I cant mention this to anyone or Id be dead by now! I was young, stupid, and confused. I had no one to guide me and tell me that what I was doing is just meaningless. Iwanted to take and a risk and confront him about the way I felt which to be honest is miserable, I was sad and depressed most of the time unlike other girls who were insanely happy and madly inlove.

outgoing call: A
it kept ringing and ringing and he didn't pick up, typical

my phone buzzed indicating that I have received an sms
from: A
wya ilrb3 shfech

Awal matf'6a call me

I waited till midnight, he hasn't called so I drifted to sleep, at around 4am my phone was vibrating nonstop I knew that someone was calling so I instantly pressed on the green button

me: alo (I was so tired my voice could be barely heard)
Aziz: asif 7ayaty ga3adtich
that was it! hearing his voice got me stuttering it was so deep and sexy I missed it
أبسط أسباب السّعاده صوت من تحب
me: umm la 3adii bs mnsd7a ta3bt
Aziz: shfech oboii intay shile mt3bch laykon ana? tara ayech 6ayer il7en
me: aziiiiz 3an ilshi6ana!
Aziz: intay ilee m5ch ray7 feha wila ana bare2 maglt shay
me: hehehehe inzain ya obo ilbara2a inta
Aziz: magiltele shfech 7abebte 5ar3tene 3lych
me: ahhhh la 7abebe mafene shay bas walaht 3alayk
Stupid! I was so Stupid! I gave up so easily
Aziz: ma7ad galch sotch shay ma9ar wntay tawch g3da mn ilnom
and off he went with the flirting and the sweet talk. He was so good at making me forget. a7la wagt wiya lma kint aklma 3l phone 7ta law mara bil sna bs hal mara t3aw'6ne 3an ilayam ile ra7aw kilaha iy7asisne chna mako bl dnya '3air 3thob o chne a7la ma bil kown o ine amlik ildnya kilaha, bas min a9akr mna il5a6 I start crying so hard I feel bad for myself mahma iysawe arja3 a7iba min yid o ydeed ma9art ya 3aziz wala ma9arat!

Aziz decided to travel with his friends to London during the summer break and I was done with Highschool going on to Uni, I didn't travel that summer because of the things that I had to do with registering and taking placement tests and all.

Aziz talked me into getting bbm back so I did in order for us to improve our relationship he told me that through bbm we could talk to each other 24/7 rather than signing in and out from msn.

At the beginning we were so good we would tallk to each other the whole day like old days, then slowly Aziz started to back off, I might send him a text and he'd reply after 4 or 5 hours not even minutes. It was crazy but I got the hang of it.

It was time for Aziz to leave

3ithoob: Azeez

after and hour,

Aziz: hala?

3ithoob: 7i6 balk 3la nafsk o please 6amne 3laik awl mato9l dont get me worried

Aziz: inshala lat7aten wntay b3d 76y balch 3la 3mrch

3ithoob: inshalla, bil salama inshala
            I love you

Aziz: alla ysalmch

and he ignored the I love you part

هل هو جنون عندما.. اهتم ﻟامرك وانا لا اعرف ماذا ،اعني لك”

I thought to myself that he might me busy with all the packing because he's heading to the airport in an hour.

Aziz: yala 7ytaty ana bil 6yara bye

3ithoob: allla ma3ak bye 7abebe

and off he went he sent me a whatsapp once he arrived to the hotel and that was it 3 weeks have passed without a single phone call or a text asking me if I was doing ok.

His birthday was coming up and I knew that he'd still be in London lets hope I can reach him soon

فمان الله ياقلب خلقه الله عديم احساس.. تعبت اغليه واحبه لكن ماحس فيني