Saturday, March 27, 2010

The End Of The Road (36)

Im trying my best to write more frequently ;D

O this post is dedicated toN thank u for all ur support o intay ilee shaja3teenee 3ala inee akamil ;***** o Nawarii o Darliam thank u 3ala ur comments love u ;*****

I stayed there just reading for hours the doctor came out his face wasn't reassuring

Sindis: what's wrong?

Doc: well he's in a comma right now but he might get up in a couple of days

Sindis: ok thank u

that's it that's all I said "thank u" I went back to my seat fita7t il Quran o kamalt giraytee . Now what do I tell Noor? she's gonna leave to the states in a few days and her uncle is in a comma! I kept getting calls from the girls and all I said to them was that I'm busy wila 3indee homework wila I have something to do with Bader and each time bader calls I tell him that I'm busy with the girls ma kint abee agoola 3an Yousif la2na mabee yit3aab ma3ay.

I called Noor

Noor: hala sindis

Sindis: ahlain Noor kint bagoolich tara 5alich safar o galleee agoolich itroo7een wiya Ali 7ag listates 3ashan ohwa he can't come

Noor: o laish ohwa ma galee?

Sindis: madree 6ala3 3inda shi'3il '6arooree lazim iysawee o once he's back ra7 iykalmich

Noor: '3areeba Yousif mo 3adta iysawee chithee

Sindis: ee madree bas ohwa galee awa9ilich hal shay 3ashan ma tan6ireena

Noor: ee ok inzain sandoo?

Sindis: hala?

Noor: tara walhaneen 3alaych o fagdeenich

Sindis: wallah haman ana bas 5aloonee a5ali9 shi'3leee o inshallah bajabilkom kil yowm 9ib7 o layl

Noor: hahahhaha ok yalla take care 7abeebtee

Sindis: you too

ok hathee 3adat 3ala 5air allah yaster bas.

After a few days Noor left with Ali to Florida o I was back to my daily routine staying with Yousif. there are no improvement no nothing he's just in this stable position ilee wala shay yit'3ayar, the Doctors mayadroon shino fee exactly o that's what's killing me.

I've been told that a person in a comma could hear whatever you say, so I stay in Yousif's room o I talk to him about everything and anything even about my feelings I don't want him to feel lonely in the world that he's at. Each day at night I read him a part of the quran out loud so that he would enjoy god's wise words.

everyday I change the flower's that are beside his bed, and whenever the nurses get done with washing Yousif I spray him some perfume and comb his hair even though his hair is not that much but I want him to look good even when he's sick.

At night when its time me for to go home I cover him well, close the lights and leave. And when the morning comes I go to the Uni get everything I need to do from the professors and on my way to the hospital I get some fresh bouquet of flowers and head straight to Yousif's room.

Even though he doesn't speak to me I feel comfortable around him and it's just safe staying with him in the same room there's like a bond that's between us that if something happens to him I know I will get hurt and I wont handle all the pain alone.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The End Of The Road (35)

Days have passed and It was time for Yousif's chemo session I went with him and stayed with him the whole time. Kilyowm 3an yowm yafrig 3alay tabdee ti6la3 il symptoms malowt il chemo he started to lose balance his skin turned dry, he started to lose some hair he was in a mess.

I isolated myself from everyone even Bader I didn't realize that, but I was too involved with Yousif. I stayed with him the whole time just taking care of him seeing if he needs anything. He has no one but me to stand by him through all of this. everyday i apply some lotion onto his skin 3ashan maytigashar o iy3awra kil yowm aga9ba yishrab wayed may 3ashan his body doesn't get dehidrated.

One morning ana wiya ga3deen nitmasha around the hospital he had his arms around my shoulder in order to balance himself o I had one hand around his waste wila faj2a he collapsed on the ground I couldn't handle his weight


Nurse: Jennifer go call the doctor Eric come help me lift him up

I was sitting on the ground not knowing what to do adrenalin has made me stay still I didn't cry I didn't freak out I was like a statue everything was balnk. The nurses rushed across the hallway the doctor came running they took him to a room and closed the door behind them. I stayed there on the ground for about 15 minutes and then everything sank in the way he collapsed and everything that's when I got up and ran to the room that they took him in I stood outside the door looking through the circular glass window all I could see was Yousif laying on white bed helpless and a bunch of doctors with white coats surrouning him and each doing their jobs.

Seeing him in that way broke my heart I turned around walked silently to his usual room tiyadadt o firasht il siyada o libast thowb il 9alat o 9alayt rak3itayn 9alat shoker ashkir rabeee 3ala kil shay 3a6anee iya o 3ala 9i7itee o 3afiyteee shikart rabee 3ala hal 3eesha ilee ana 3ayshat.ha 5ala9t min il 9alat o 5athayt il quraan o ri7t 3ind il '3orfa ilee Yousif feeha il7een i sat outside on the chairs facing the door o fita7t awal page min il mo97af o awal shay kanat 9oorat ilfat7a samayt bil ra7man o off I went with my reading there was no one in the hospital just me and god. In that moment he's the only one I need right now he's the one that could help me.

" هو على كل شيء قدير"

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


HIIII i've missed each and everyone of u wallah likom wi7shaaa adreee ineee im the worst blogger ever bas ana mabee a5ali9 hal story ila lama I have the next one ready ;p

OK so tawnee ilyowm madree shlown I've discovered this amazing blog she's a biginner bas wayed 3ijabnee her writing u should all check it out

I think u'll like it ;D

Love u loads ;********