A Mistake (25)

عقب البطا تنشد عن الحال ياشوق

...................انت الذي عقب البطا وش جابك

Aziz was back from London, the shocking news was that I found out from twitter and not from him.

I sent him a text welcoming him back even though he doesn't deserve it

I received a reply from him telling me that he misses me and he's sorry for neglecting me.

This time I ignored him

My phone started flashing indicating a phone call but again i didn't answer him

miss call wara ilthani wana maska nafsii

9araw 6 chan  ajawb

Aziz: 3ithoob?

3ithoob; Aziz

Aziz: ولهان ولهااان ويحقلي اوله

he sang this line to me and I started crying he heard my sobs through the phone and started to calm me down

Aziz: 3ithoob 7ayaty asif wallaa asif adri ini mga9er b7agch o nadman gad sha3ar rasi alla ykhalech bas
may9er ashof dam3a tanzil mnch tkfain latabchen tara ga3da tga63en galbi

I couldnt stop I don't know what has gotten into me but Aziz my Aziz was back I can feel it from his voice from  the way he talked the words he used to calm me down, but why now what happened when he wasnt in kuwait.

3ithoob: laish Aziz ana shsawait 3ashan tsawi feni chithi
I told him in between my sobs

Aziz: Madrii shyani 3ithob bil coarse makint abi aklm a7ad kint karih kilshai adrii mali 7ag bs wala 7asait ib geemtch o magdar maklmch I know ini i hurt you bas walla hal shai makan beedi sam7eni o inshalla ba3awthch o btshofen

3ithoob: inshalla

I swear after that phone call it was like I took someone and replaced him with someone else Aziz has become the perfect guy! you know the men you read in love novels and never think they exist Aziz has become a character from a love story  he cared again he called me almost 3 times a day to ask about me , he was the first one I talked to when I wake up and the last when I wanted to sleep.
It was too good to be true..

Should I Continue?

Dear readers,
 its been a while since I last posted! i am truely sorry, I've been thinking about ending the stories! but which one would you like me to end first?

With love,
Red

A Mistake (24)

لو كنت أستطييع آنْ لآ أحْبـك ,لفعلتْ

His Birthday was coming up there is no way to wish him a happy birthday unless I call him, So it was 20/9 and aziz's birthday is on the 21st, I waited till the clock strinked 12 and called him immdiatly
I called once
twice
three times
And all I could hear was the machine repeating the same words that "the mobile is switched off or is out of the coverage area"
Now what? his bb was off as well so he couldn't receive anything on bbm or whatsapp. I got so frustrated how could he keep his phone shut the whole time he's there.
He would've atleast get an english sim card and connect the bbm, but who am I to tell him.
I decided to send him a whatsapp maybe he'll just connect his phone to the wifi

 تمنيت أكون أول من يهنيك
وأكون فهاليوم منك قريب بس شاءت
الأقداروكل واحد منافطريق
مدري من السبب أنا ولاّ إنت بس اللي أعرفه
كل واحد منا عن الثاني بعيد
حبيبي أنامانسيت وبهاليوم الشمع ضويت
ولما جا الوقت طيفك هنيت
كل عام وانت بخيرترى والله لك حنيت

الله يحفظك ياأغلى من حبيت

whatsapp:

kil 3am winta ib alf 5air ya a'3la aziz bil dinya 3ogbal il 10000 sina inshala o tkon hal sina sinat 5air o sa3ada o ayamik kilha fara7 mithil ma inta 5air 3alay 7awalt ati9il bas your phone is off all I can do is send you this ma3ina shwaya 3alayk bas shasawee mabede shay I hope your having fun and happy birthday 7ayaty, and just to let you know that I miss u :(

oo أَحبك لـو كل الَنَاسْ عـارضـونِــــي

-sent

There was no response from Aziz, Even though he read it, he didnt reply in other words aziz ignored me when I wished him all the best! I gave up on him i"m giving him my all and he's not willing to give me a couple of minutes from his time. How come he doesnt misss me when all I do is miss him? ma akser 5a6ra 7ata? ma3goola akoo nas yt'3ayirown chthee?  

أكثر مآ يؤلمني هو آنك تعلم أني كل ما آكتبه يقصدك وآنت مآزلت تقرأ ﺑصمت

Days passed by so slowly I couldn't wait till he gets back here so that I get things cleared up with up. I am fed up this time I am not backing out I have to confront him! atleast I could move on I just need an answer to whats going on!

غيابك حكايه تُحزن اوقاتيَ ..

A Mistake (23)

I know that I'm not a good blogger and it takes me forever to post but things keep coming up that distract me from the blog. madree itha  layl7en feee nas tgra my blog, bas this to all of you waiting enjoy ;*

لا تعشمني بَ حبك ثم تروح يا تجيني عمر ولا لا تجي.. ما ٱخاف أعيش من بعدك جروح بس ٱخاف أحب غيرك ثم تجي

As I mentioned before things with 3azeez kept getting worse over time and I kept hanging on to him. He was the first guy that I fall in love with. I was so attached to him that the thought of losing him just breaks my heart! He used to be so good to me and I don't really know what happened? Is it possible that he replaced me with someone else? A girl that would keep her man satisfied and happy. I was never going to give him more than what he got because I'm better than this! t3arfooon laama 6ol 3omrkom masken roo7kom min inkom t7iboon witkalmoom o lama tyeen t7beenlich wa7id '6ameerich dayman iy2anbich and your pride keeps you from doing many things that other girls are willing to do?

That was how i felt back then I was hopeless I couldn't do anything about it because I cant mention this to anyone or Id be dead by now! I was young, stupid, and confused. I had no one to guide me and tell me that what I was doing is just meaningless. Iwanted to take and a risk and confront him about the way I felt which to be honest is miserable, I was sad and depressed most of the time unlike other girls who were insanely happy and madly inlove.

outgoing call: A
it kept ringing and ringing and he didn't pick up, typical

my phone buzzed indicating that I have received an sms
from: A
wya ilrb3 shfech

reply:
Awal matf'6a call me

I waited till midnight, he hasn't called so I drifted to sleep, at around 4am my phone was vibrating nonstop I knew that someone was calling so I instantly pressed on the green button

me: alo (I was so tired my voice could be barely heard)
Aziz: asif 7ayaty ga3adtich
that was it! hearing his voice got me stuttering it was so deep and sexy I missed it
أبسط أسباب السّعاده صوت من تحب
me: umm la 3adii bs mnsd7a ta3bt
Aziz: shfech oboii intay shile mt3bch laykon ana? tara ayech 6ayer il7en
me: aziiiiz 3an ilshi6ana!
Aziz: intay ilee m5ch ray7 feha wila ana bare2 maglt shay
me: hehehehe inzain ya obo ilbara2a inta
Aziz: magiltele shfech 7abebte 5ar3tene 3lych
me: ahhhh la 7abebe mafene shay bas walaht 3alayk
Stupid! I was so Stupid! I gave up so easily
Aziz: ma7ad galch sotch shay ma9ar wntay tawch g3da mn ilnom
and off he went with the flirting and the sweet talk. He was so good at making me forget. a7la wagt wiya lma kint aklma 3l phone 7ta law mara bil sna bs hal mara t3aw'6ne 3an ilayam ile ra7aw kilaha iy7asisne chna mako bl dnya '3air 3thob o chne a7la ma bil kown o ine amlik ildnya kilaha, bas min a9akr mna il5a6 I start crying so hard I feel bad for myself mahma iysawe arja3 a7iba min yid o ydeed ma9art ya 3aziz wala ma9arat!

Aziz decided to travel with his friends to London during the summer break and I was done with Highschool going on to Uni, I didn't travel that summer because of the things that I had to do with registering and taking placement tests and all.

Aziz talked me into getting bbm back so I did in order for us to improve our relationship he told me that through bbm we could talk to each other 24/7 rather than signing in and out from msn.

At the beginning we were so good we would tallk to each other the whole day like old days, then slowly Aziz started to back off, I might send him a text and he'd reply after 4 or 5 hours not even minutes. It was crazy but I got the hang of it.

It was time for Aziz to leave

3ithoob: Azeez

after and hour,

Aziz: hala?

3ithoob: 7i6 balk 3la nafsk o please 6amne 3laik awl mato9l dont get me worried

Aziz: inshala lat7aten wntay b3d 76y balch 3la 3mrch

3ithoob: inshalla, bil salama inshala
            I love you

Aziz: alla ysalmch

and he ignored the I love you part

هل هو جنون عندما.. اهتم ﻟامرك وانا لا اعرف ماذا ،اعني لك”

I thought to myself that he might me busy with all the packing because he's heading to the airport in an hour.

Aziz: yala 7ytaty ana bil 6yara bye

3ithoob: allla ma3ak bye 7abebe

and off he went he sent me a whatsapp once he arrived to the hotel and that was it 3 weeks have passed without a single phone call or a text asking me if I was doing ok.

His birthday was coming up and I knew that he'd still be in London lets hope I can reach him soon


فمان الله ياقلب خلقه الله عديم احساس.. تعبت اغليه واحبه لكن ماحس فيني

A Mistake (22)

The conversations with 3azeez were not the same anymore! China mag9oob iykalmne and I hated it! Ever since I told him my name he never called me by the name! I guess it takes time for him to get used to it! And I'm willing to give him all the time he needs. 3thoob: 3azeez? 3azeez: Hala? 3ithoob: ya3nii lay mta bitim Chthy? Ly mta wana batm ark'6 warak! 3azeez: '3aloooy wala mako shay bas lowyat ildawam! That was it! Once he called me '3alya I felt like a ticking bomb and it was time for me to explode! 3ithoob: shno ismeee? 3azeez: oh sorry walla layl7en mat3awdt 3al ism! 3ithoob: it's been 2 months o layl7een mat3awadt! 2 months winta wala Mara and nadaytny ib ismee! 3azeez anaa ta3abt wallaaa ta3abt ya3nii Ana machathabt ila 3al ism you have to get over it 5ala9! I said everything that was on my mind I couldnt handle shutting up anymore he has to know that he's exaggerating! 3azeez: it's not about the name! 3ithoob: what is it about 3ayal! 3azeez: it's about the trust! Ya3nii m3goola tawch tathigeen feene? 6ol Hal moda wintry t3arfeen 3an kil tafa9eelee wana ma3arf 7ata ismich! Shya'6minlee inch machathabtay 3alay 3an ashya2 thanya! 3ithoob: wala it's not about trust! Law I dont trust chan masshftny lel7en m3ak! I know you have a point bas wala everything you know about me is true! 3azeez: if you trust then give me your phone number! Yaaaaaa alllaaaaahh!!!! Il7eeen shlown wiyah! I can't say no! I gave up! Just by a couple of words from him I gave up.. T3arfoon lama ygolon ga9aw 3alayha ib kilish Hatha kan wa'63y ga9 3alay ib kilmitain o Ana Mthil ilmaynoona 6i3t kalamaa! 3ithoob: ok ######## now t2akadt Ina I trust you! Once i pressed on enter my phone started ringing And a unfamiliar number was calling! I knew it was him so I ignored I was too nervous to answer 1 missed call 3azeez: shfech matrden Ana Ilee ga3d adig 3ithoob: adreee bas ma3arf shagool He called again so I decided to reply "alo" came his manly heart melting voice I couldn't reply my throat was so dry that no words could escape my mouth "hahahahaha shfech matrden " I kept quite! His voice was breathtaking it was so deep I would be satisfied by just listening to him without talking "hah 3thoob akakim nafsee Ana!" " la" was all I could say with my shaky low voice "3ayal shfech sakta" " ma3indee shay agoola" "9owtich 7ilo tadreen" I hung up! I couldn't take it anymore his voice is just killing me and I was too nervous to even talk! He called again but I pressed on the red button to decline the call! 3azeez: shfech! 3ithoob: Magdr atkalm :$ 3azeez: lay Hal daraja 9otey iy2ther feech! 3ithoob: 3an ilthiga baba :p I think that was the only appropriate phone call we had! It was either me calling and he would come up with excuses so that he'd hang up and continue with whatever he was doing! He never called again unless I asked him to! It was as if I'm nothing to him anymore.

A Mistake (21)

I know it's been forever since I last posted and I doubt that anyone is reading but I need to end this story because I'm taking forever to write it! Every detail of this story is true except for the names off coarse it's not my own story but it's a story of someone that I know. Mabeee a6awil akthr mn chthy so enjoy ;* I sent the picture to azeez while my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating! I know that it wasn't the right thing to do but I couldn't handle all the nagging I gave up fast and that's killing me! I can't be giving him everything he asks for it just won't work i'll end up screwed! 3azeez: mo mn9jch '3aloooy kilish moo wa'67a! '3alia: olaaaa 3azeeez kil hathy o mo wa'67a shno adz akthr mn chthee! Lat5alene at7asaf inee dazaytlik! 3azez: 5al9 yoba ya kalma o rdaay mkanch! Again 3adat 3alayh! Bs lay mta, lay mtaaa o a ana batm achathib 3alayh o I keep hiding my identity akeed byey yom o bymil O f3lan that day has came! I felt so guilty I couldn't handle all the bullshit that I was telling him! without even asking me I decided to come clean! And that's when everything kept going downhill in our relationship! I had a feeling deep down that later on i'll regret telling him and that he'll hate me for lying but I just couldn't take it anymore. It was around midnight, I was in my cold bed over thinking what I'm about to do when my fingers started typing on my phones keyboard unconsciously '3alia: 3azeeez! There's something that you need to know! 3azeez: shno? '3alia: you have to promise me that you won't get upset 3azeez: bsmila shfech tra 5ba9teenee!!!! '3alia: you have to promise me first! 3azeez: I promise bs yala t7achay! '3alia: I've lied to you about my name! He stayed quite and I got worried '3alia: 3azeez? 3azeez: knt 7as o mtwa83 min gilteelee matabeene ashofch wlaa ashoof 9warich twa8a3t! '3alia: I'm sorry wala matit9war shkther 6ol ilmoda wana I feel guilty w9alt lay mr7la ily 5ala9 I couldn't take it anymore! 3azeez: 3ayal shno ismichh? '3alia: 3ithoob! 3azeez: 3ithoob? But I fell in love with '3alia! 7abayt kil shay feech 59oo9an ismichh shlon agdar astw3ib Ina Hatha moo ismich! Magdr wala shay maydish il3agil! I started crying! My heart ached for the fact that he loved every detail about me and Im about to give up on him. I cried for the fact that I'm wasting my time and heart over a guy that I know i'll never be with! I cried that after all this time I'm revealing the true me when I tend to know that this relationship is soon coming to an end! I cried for the selfish, self centered, naive person that Ive become! I cried for misleading the poor guy! I cried for the situation that I put myself in! I cried for hurting him and hurting myself! I cried for everything!

NO post today :(

Unfortunately I cant post today because I have an exam tommorow o I'm not done studying.... inshalla I'll be posting a long one tommorow or the day after!
;*

A Mistake (20)

This one's dedicated to RR ;*

ادري انــــــــــك مـــــن نــصـــــيــــبــي بـل أحــلام وادري انــــــك لــغــيــري لا بــــغـــيت الـــحــقـــيــــــــــــــقه

Deep down I always knew that I would never belong to him but I kept convincing myself that there might be a chance a simple one or there even might be some hope....

3azeez never asked to talk to me on the phone gabil hal mara I think he was being considerate or is it because he knew that I would'nt approve of it well Im not really sure

3azeez: '3alooya

'3alya: 3yoonhaa

3azeez: tslamleee hal 3yoon

'3alya: :$

3azeez: abee as2lich

'3alya: is2al?

3azeez: lay mita bintim chthee?

That's the question that I've been avoiding all the time

'3alya: 3ala shno mafahamt?

3azeez: ya3nii lay mita bintim nitkalam 3al msn

'3alya: madree 3azeez ya3ni inta tadre ina min ilbidaya ana giltlik ina magdar akthar min chthee hatha 7adii mara7 afeeedik ib shay
- o anaa adree ina inta malayt witha matabee tkalmnee anymore ana ra7 atfaham ilmaw'6oo3

I know that what I said hurts but I cant give him more mabee yit2amal o bil nihaya adgira

3azeez: hah '3alooy sh.hal kalam bas la2na mino il7een yd5al msn! tara walla aana mad5al ilaa 3ashanich wila hal sowalif moo malat nas ib 3omerna wallaa tara i7na mo yahal

'3alya: adree ina i7na moo yahal o 3az alla shanik bas wallaa magdar wallaaaa

3azeez: 5ala9 3ala ra7tich ana bas kint bashoof yimkin t'3ayren rayich lana wala this is not fair Im doing all this for you wintay moo ga3da ta36eene wala shay bil mogabil

'3alya: 7aram 3alayk Im sacrificing everything just to talk to you winta tgol inee moo ga3da a36eek shay bil mo8abil!

3azeez: inzain 3ayal warene shaklich!

'3alya: 3azeez shfeek???

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM! kilmaraaa iysawee chtheee lama i give up o eventually do

3azeez: matgdreen tkalmeene bil phone o matabeenee ashofich bil9ij dzeelee 9ortich

'3alya: im sorry bas no

3azeez: shftay agoolich maga3da ta36ene shay bil mo8abil

When he does this he makes me feel bad about myself and he makes me seem unfair.... ilmoshkila inee ga3da a36ee akther minilazimm bas I always fall for what he's saying o I bil nihaya asawee ileee ohwa yabee

'3alya: 5ala9 okay bas 1 pic

3azeez: okkkkk :D basss abeeha wa'67a

'3alya: ok!

I picked one of the blurry pictures so that he wont really recognize my face
بسم الله الذي لا يضر مع اسمه شيء في الأرض ولا في السماء وهو السميع العليم

I kept repeating that in my head and pressed on the send button

A Mistake (19)

يا حظ قلبي يوم يلقاك ادعي الهي لي يخليك

All I could think of is SHIT he found out he found out he found

I went running to my brother ashwana ohwa ilee a9'3ar minee fa he doesn't mind if I took his phone

"Saloom pleaaaseee give me your phone digeega" I was pleeding

"ni6raay 5alashoof wa7id msaweelee add o ga3d iysolif ma3inee ma3arfa" he replyed confused

I freaked out "MINO SHNOO SHGAAL WINTA SHGILT???"

"hah shfeech yanaytay"

'eeeee yalla gooolleeeee'

' sa2alnee hatha mino mobila o giltla ina malee o galee inzain o kan mala chan agola ina mal 7maid o5ooy.... 7ataa galeee oh a3arfaaa hathaa iy9eer rfeeej o5ooy'

I'm busted o ba3ad iy3arif o5oooy ri77tt feeeehhaaaaaa

" delete him"

"lesh masken masawale shay!"

" delete ishlik brabi3 7amood yalla delete"

" mara7 asaweela delete ilwalad ma'6arneee"

I grabbed the phone from his hand and deleted 3azeez quickly

" Shfeech intaaay mooo 9a7yaaa"

"shtabeee feeee waiii3 kilman hab o dab tsaweela add mooo 7ilwaa saloom"

I couldn't think of anything better to tell him

" hmmm 3adil kalamich"

I left sulaimans room and went back to mine.. tithakart inaaa layl7eeen maradayt 3ala 3azeez I kept thinking of a reply and the only thing that I came up with is that I should deny and act normal

ابيك وما ابيهم: hallaa 3azeez laaa a3tigid iniiik '3al6an la2na my phone is still with me o no one is using it yimkin you got mixed up with someone else

Abdulaziz Al x: wallaa bay3ita intay?

ابيك وما ابيهم: laa 3omree mabi3t telephone :p

Abudaziz Al x: '3areeba wallaa

ابيك وما ابيهم : eee 7adaa 7ataa anaa sta'3rabt :s

I think he bought it il7imdilla alla sitar 3alaaay

But the worse is yet to come

A Mistake (18)

I know it has been forever since I last posted I wanted to continue the story but I had alot of things going on


I hope that by the end of this month I can end it and then go back to finishing the end of the road I hope that you're still interested


Im sorry again and here goes a long post





أصبر ياقلبي وانتظر خل الحزن مكتوم
كل المعاني تغيرت واتضحت الصوره
صار الصدق في هالزمن مثل الوفا معدوم
ونفوسنا تجرحت والفرحه مكسوره
كل المبدىء تنشرى واللي معاه يسوم
حتى المشاعر ارخصت والكلمه مهدوره

3azeez and I have never been this close it's insane talking to him was a must!!! If I don't then he knows that something must be wrong.

I've never been this happy my whole life even though it was just msn I knew that he cared about me!

Every time he talks to me I have this wide goofy smile on my face and my knees get numb that I cant stand up for a long time and I get this weird feeling in my stomache you know the feeling that ur deeply and madly in love?

I've abandoned everyone... everytime I go to our usual thursday gathering my focus is only on the phone and nothing but the phone my aunts and grandmother iyg6oon na'3zat bas wain ilee ysma3....

Whenever I'm out with my friends they keep on complaining because I dont pay them any attention
The problem is that its not just me 7ata 3azeez! ohwa magam iy7ib y6la3 o kilaa mjablnee wiysowlif ma3ay I cant help it

I know what I'm saying is nonsense because ana bas ga3da akalma 3al msn and to many people msn relationships don't count because its just a fling but to us it wasn't anything like that we were dead serious

I fell for this guy even though I regret it sometimes because I know that I'll end up hurting him and hurting myself but I just cant get enough of him

kil yom ykbar ib 3aini akthat min ilee gabla
He got to know me even more lately the only thing that I cant tell him is my name! I don't know why bas manee gadra agoola isme...

shay ib 3agle ga3d iygole latgolenla ya 3thob tara bt7asifayn o shay ib galbe iygole goolela tara mayistahil inich itchathbeen 3alayh

This time I followed my mind and not my heart lets see where would it lead me

I was up at night talking to zeez and lets see what happened

'3alia: laa yal na7eeees wallaa inta tadree inee magdar ashoofik

3azeez: eee lesh ana abeech ti8ni3eenee

'3alia: la2na anaa kila a6la3 wiya omee o shlown ashofik itha ana ma3aha

3azeez: shda3wa '3alooy ana shbasawee bas bashofich o bamshee manee maklich

'3alia: inshalla babe ashoof itha gdart wagoolik :*

3azeez: 7ayaty intaay inzain add me on bbm

shfeeeh ilyoom madreee laysh m3alig ilaaa yabeee asawee shay that he knows I cant do

'3alia: 3azzeeezaan ana shnoo gilt gabil magdar

3azeez: shnoo intay kil magiltlich shay tgolenle magdar yala add mee
-pin:*******

'3alia: 3azeez please walla magar law 5wanee wila omee iyshofonk tadre shiy9eer feenee

3azeez: lock your phone o change my name save me as nora 3aysha ay shay bas akoon 3indich o ana mara7 a7i6 9waree tara walla ma9a5naha o gazarnaha 3ala hal msn ma9arraat '3alooy

'3alia: inzain shlfarg bain msn o bbm mala da333ee ya3nii thnaynhom nafs ilshay

3azeez: laa '3aiir bbm agdar a7a9lich 6ol ilwagt moo nafs msn wayed t9eren offline yalla 3ad latrideenee

Madre laysh bas I was hesitant I had a very bad feeling about this bas I decided to not let him down once again

'3alia: okk 3ashanik bas

3azeez: 7aaaaaaaaaaayyyyaaaattyyyy intaaay yallaa na6er

'3alia: hehehehe okkk waiit

I had to change my bbm name 3ashan maystaw3ib...I changed it into a song adree halaga bas shasawee '3aliaa o 3ithoob were very different 7ata law ba7i6 nickname my friends and family byshikoon bilwa'63
I even removed my dp so that he couldnt get any idea about who I really am
My hands were shaking the whole time that I was typing his name chna eedee ga3da tgoolee latsaweenla add ya 3thoob taraa bt7asifayn bas samayt bilra7man o ta3awtht min iblees o I added him
He was the firt guy that I have added to bbm '3air 5wane o my cousins 6ab3an I always had this rule ina bbm was to be private and to the people that are really close and for now 3azeez is like the closest person to me fa ohwa kisar 8a3idat ina makoo shabab ib bbm

invite contact
invite by sending a PIN or email messages
to: *******
request sent

I checked my recent updates and
Abulaziz Al x is a new contact has appeared

Abdulaziz Al x: hallaaa o '3allaaa taww manawarr ba7laaa o a'3laaa '3alooyaa

ابيك وما ابيهم: mnaaweer feeek yal '3alyy

Abdulaziz Al x: ya3niii ana '3alyy?

ابيك وما ابيهم: o min '3airiik '3alyy

Abdulaziz Al x: laaa intaaay chthee btithbi7eenee

ابيك وما ابيهم: smilaa 3alaykkk 5alaa9 magoolik chthee 3ayal

Abdulaziz Al x: laaa goolaaay gooolaaay a7laaa thab7aa hatheee

ابيك وما ابيهم: hehehehehe :$

We forgot about msn and we turned to bbm,
but the only problem was that bbm was even more distracting than msn

a month has passed and I talked to 3azeez on bbm bas faj2a my blackberry 5tarab o i decided to move to an iphone magdart amsa7 3azeez cuz kan lazim asawee format 7ag il blackberry bas radayt 3ala msn o ohwa tifaham ilmaw'6oo3

madree sh6aree 3layh bas o5ooy sa2lnee itha my BB works o giltla ina faj2a 5tarab 3alay o gal ohwa biysaweela format o ya5tha 7aga
I didnt mind because he had to format it so all the contacts will get deleted o ana mt2akda ina mara7 y6la3la 3azeez again because ana gayla 7ag 3azeez ina mobili 5tarab o chthee

after a few weeks

3azeez: '3alooooooyyy

'3alya: halaa 3azeezan

3azeez: ana bas2lich your blackberry intay m'3ayrta?

'3alya: la mast5dma ana m7awla iphone laysh?

3azeez: la2na tawnee kint da bc o 6ala3lee ur name o itha you want to re-invite so I did o 6ala3lee wa7id ga3d iykalmneee isma Sulaiman Alx t3arfeeenaa

SHHHIITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

A Mistake (17)

3azeez: titzawijaynee?

my stomache started to ache I felt nautious my hands were shaking I was shocked! I never expected him to even bring up this topic ya3nii what would I tell him I've been lying to him the whole time!!!

'3alia: 3azeeez it's too soon mosta7eel my parents would let me get married at this age bas inshalla in the future laysh la2

3azeez: inshallaaa I cant waiiiit

3azeez came from a very different background than I did, He was from an average family while I was froom a good well known wealthy family, In my families point of view there is no way that I would marry him from the difference of the family names. ana moo ga3da agool ina fee farg o i hope ina matwa5thoonee bas feee farg bil 3awayil o hal ashya2 ma3ina ana mashoof lah da3ee cuz we're all humans o mafee farg bain ilnas bas ana mit2akda malyown bil imya ina ahaleee would not approve of him.

'3alia: :$

3azeez: o inyeeeeb yahaal yishbihooonich chthee 7ilweeen

'3alia: wishdaraaak ineee 7ilwaa yimkin akoon jaikaraaa!

3azeez: laaa laa ana mit2akid inich 7ilwaaaa

'3alia: baaas taraaa ga3daa asti7eeeee :$:$:$

3azeez: ya7ilooo ileee ysti7oon wallaaaa

'3alia: 3azeeezaan abeeeee bint o5ook yeebleeee iyahaaa

3azeez: ana wiyach nyeeb nafs,ha o a7laa minhaa

'3alia: laaa aanaa abee il7een a5th.haa dig 3ala o5oook o gooola ineee abeeha

3azeez: laaa adig hal 7aza may9eer!

'3alia: haw laysh may9eer 3adii o5ook

3azeez: laa ohwaaa mitzawij o matadreen hal 7aza my9eer adig

'3alia: :s madree shno ya3nii 3adii

3azeez: ya3nii hal 7azaa ohwa o mortaa iysawoon ashya2 t3arfeen what married couples doo!

I felt sooo stupid makinttt fahmaa o lamaa galeee 7asayt naffsee '3abiyaaa!

'3alia: bas now ilfayer!

3azeez: eeee 3adii kayfhom ay wagt 7ata il9ib7 itha yaboon kayfhom!

'3alia: olaa shnoo il9b777

3azeez: eee ya3nii ana wiyaach when we get married il9ib7 il'6her il3a9er bilayl 6oool ilwagttt

That was unexpected 7adiii ista7aytttt ya3nii matwa8a3t ina we'd be discussing this subject

'3alia: olaaaa olaaaaa olaaaa laaa:$

3azeez: imbalaa mortee o kayfeeeeeee

'3aliaa: o ham anaaa kayfeeee

3azeez: laaa moo kayfiichhh mitaa ma abee we'll doo itt

'3alia: okkk okkk kayffik bas plzz let's colseee the subject tara ast7ee atkalam 3an hal ashya2!

3azeez: walla I love how inoccent you are :*

'3alia: :$

3azeez: yallaa bass namaay 7abeebti bacher ra7 tit3ibeen

'3alia: 5ala9 inshalla t9ba7 3ala 5air :*

3azeez: wintay min ahlaaa :*

....................................................

a random convo I have with 3azeez saved on my phonee that I really love

I love calling him 3abdil3azeez bas ohwa may7ib iy7is inaaa lazim akoon serious wila m3a9ba 3ashan I call him that name walla iy'6a7ik

'3alia: yalla annaa laziiim anaaaam il7een cuzz wayyyeed t2a5ar ilwagt ooo adree mat7ib I call you 3abdil3azeez bas 7iloo walla a7laa min 3azeez fa think about it :p

3azeez: LOOOOOOOOL okk 7abeebtii ;**

'3alia: tadre ina awal mara tgole 7abeebti :$

3azeez: 9ijjjj?

'3alia: ee :$

3azeez: you like it?

'3alia: yup :$

3azeez: ok 7abebti

'3alia; hehehehe yalla ti9ba7 3ala 5air

3azeez: wenty min ahla 7bibti ;*******
-ba5aleech tizhigeen minha ;p

'3alia: looooooool matwa8a3 azhaag :$

3azeez: LOOOOOOOL
-yalla 7bibti namay warach ga3da ;*

'3alia: yalla bas ush 5alnee anaaam

3azeez: ok 7bibti ;****************

....................................

A Mistake (16)

I was pissed with him, He should'nt do this to me ya3nii ana I don't deserve to be treated this way.

One day 8arar iykalmneee 3ogob maybe 1 month or yimkin akthar he decided ina iykalmnee ib kayfa chthee 8arar

3azeez: hii

I ignored ga3da 3ala a39abee abbee I reply 3alayh bas mabee abee iy7is how it feels to be waiting for someone forever after 2 hours I replied

'3alia: hi

3azeez: ola tawich trideen

'3alia: e mobili makan yamii

3azeez: oh ok shlownich babe?

bas 5ala9 ana hneee wi9alt 7adiii iysawee nafsaa china wala shay 9ayeer as if everything's fine

'3alia: babe?

3azeez: ee layshh

'3alia: il7een ana 9irt your babe! wainik 3anee min sbo3 sbo3ayn wila shahar?

3azeez: omee wala 6a7at 3alayna maree'6a o mjabilha

I felt soo bad but at the same I felt that he was lying... 2 mins gabil laynam wila awal ma he wakes up wont effect him itha bas galii hi aw sa2alnee shlownich. A month is too much I was hurt and he didn't care. yabee iyeey barda imbarida chthee iykalmne china ana ma3ndee ay i7sas.

'3alia: matshoofon shar inshalla o alla iygawimha likom bil salama o wala ya7rimkm minha

abee kint a6la3 bil zaina o you guys want the truth I really missed him ya3nii galbee kan iy3awrnee min kither ma I missed him. I know you think I'm exaggerating but I cried thinking that he doesn't want me anymore that I was just like any other girl that he would talk to and throw her down the drain. I'm not that kind of girl and I will never be.

3azeezan: il shar mayech o ameen maga9rtay o walla I'm sorry it's all my fault inee masa2alt 3anich sam7eenee

'3alia: 3azeez digeegtayn mara7 iy2athroon 3alayk law bas tgoolee hi mo ila tsowlif ma3ay bas mat3alignee chthee madree shilsafa wala adree wainik wila shfeek

3azeez: I know Im sorry walla I am

I let it pass I was just tired and I wasn't in the mood for arguening anymore.

'3alia: lat3eedha plzz

3azeez: inshalla ma3eedha

We went back to normal after that conversation that we had.

Everyday he would make me send him a voice note singing to him I didn't like it but it made him happy and I wanted him to be happy.

One night we were chatting and I don't know what made brought up the conversation but he asked me this

3azeez: '3alooya

'3alia: halaa

3azeez: t7ibeenee?

'3alia: you know I do

3azeez: gooleeha leee

'3alia: laaa mabee :$

3azeez: alla iy5aleech 3ashanee goleelee bas hal mara

My face was turning to the darkest shade of red and my palms were sweating even though it was a simple question and I was all alone in my room I was too shy to tell him that I loved him ma3ina it was simple the first time...

'3alia: :$

3azeez: yallaa 7ayatyyy

'3alia: ee

3azeez: ee shnoo? gooleeha yalla

'3alia: eee a7ibik :$

3azeez: a55555aaiiiiiihhhhh 3aalaychh wana amoot feech

hearing that from his was the best thing everrr

3azeez: inzaiin '3alooya

'3alia: ameerneee

3azzeez: titzawijaynee?

A Mistake (15)

Dedicated to each and every person that commented thank u ;**

I sang to him the whole birthday song
'3alia: "happy birthday too youuu happy birthdaaay too youuu happyy birthdaaay tooo 3azeezaaan happy biirtthdaaaay tooo youuuu kil 3am winta ib alf 5aiir o 3ogbal il 1000000 sina ya rab o enjooy itt lovee youu "

Yes! I told him that I've loved him for the first time since I knew him I told him that I loved him I guess its the perfect timing to do so since I have felt this way towards him

Yalla its 12 I should send it

Ok sent :D

Once he heard it he replyed

3azeez: thankkk youu zayoonaaa 7ayatyy wallaa maga9artaay o mashallaaa 9owtichh iyaniiin

'3alia: hehehe i3jibak il voice note?

3azeez: 7adaa walla that made my dayy

'3alia: hehehehe zaiin ashwaa :**

3azeez: eee o ta3alaaay hathee awal mara tgooleelee I love u :$

'3alia: eee adree :$

3azeez: ya3nii you do?

'3alia: eee akeed I do

3azeez: waaaaaaaay '3alooooyyyyyyyy matadreeeeee shkitheer anaaa mistaniiissss il7eeeeeeen

'3alia: hehehehehe inshallaaa dooooom

3azeez: gooleelee a7ibik

'3alia: laaa maneee gaylaa :$

3azeez: yallaaa 3ad goolaaay

'3alia: laaaa a9laan hal kilma mara7 tsma3haa ilaaa min fatra lay fatraa

3azeez: shda3wwaaaa

'3alia: wallaa ana moo mt3awda inee agolha fa asti7ee wayed o ilyowm I told you la2naa its ur birthday o I wanted it to be special :$

3azeez: fedaiitich wallaaa 7aayatyy intay maga9artaay :***

'3alia: :$

Days past by o everything was going perfectly fine laman he changed again! Faj2aaa ta'3ayar magam iykalmnee o kila ya7girneee o makoo any contact wiyaa....

Makoo feedback :(

Makoo feedback laysh :(
How do I knowww if people are reading 3ashan akamil wila la2..

A Mistake (14)

Heeey ;** I'm sorry inee I'm not posting bas mashoof comments! The more I see them the more I inee ashta6 o I post soo please share ur thoughts o let me see what you think about what's going on soo far ;D
Ooo Enjoy ;*

I don't know if I should believe him ya3niii do I love him too? Ana 3adita as a friend nothing more nothing less! 9ij inee I got attached to him bas moo lay darajat inee I lOVE him! Madreee walla madreee this thing is confusing meee!

Onee timee kint ga3da asowlif ma3aah o ma adreee what was the convo about exactly bas inaa za3aaal! O ana ga3adt afaker ib a waaaay inee ara'6ee feeha fa fakart inee adizla a voice clip (that's like a voice not bas bil msn :p)

The voice clip said: laaa latiz3aal I didn't mean it wallaaa
( I still have it saved!)

Heeeeee weeentt craazyyyyyy!!!!!
Matwa8a3 ineee badizlaaaa my actuaaal voicee o to be honest I said it in a bit dala3 way not tthe halima boland kind of way bas madreee

3azeez: fdeeeeeeeeeeeeeet il dalaaa3 anaaaa
( Ooo madreee ma7ib lama kuwaitttii iygool fdaiit a7isaa hailigee ya3nii emaraty I would love to hear it cuz its there word bas kuwaiti madree ma7ibha!)

'3alia: :$

3azeez: abaaiih '3aloooy wallaa 9ootich 5ayal

'3alia: min 9ijiik waii3 ay 5ayal

3azeez: o rab il ka3ba 5ayaal

'3alia: mashkor I guess :$

This was the first time he has ever heard my voice o I never listened to his

'3alia: yallaa doorik dizle a voicce

3azeez: shagool feha

'3alia: ay shaay bas asma3 9owtik

Soo he did!

And guess what did he say in his voice clip!!!!!

Just guess!

Voice clip 3azeez: Ay shay!

Waiii3 ya3nii jad that's all he could've said ayshay

'3alia: maaaaleeeee888888

3azeez: looooooool wallaa madreee shagool bas hata ilee gidart agoola

7arneee 7arakta kanat malee8a ya3nii bas 6awaft,haa

Tadroon ina kan min the shy type! He told me oncee ina moo min il noww3 ileee wayed jaree2 sa3aaat yst7eeee iyshawiiig!!!! Ya3nii madree its cute ina a guy gets shy sometimes.

His birthday was coming up and I was thinking of doing him something I thought of sending him a gift with the driver to his house but that was tooo risky 5ift he asks the driver about me o he finds out that I was lying to him about many things!

O offcoarse I couldn't meet up with him or call him makan biydee asawee shay

Bas gilt I sing to him! I don't sing jidam many people so that would be special

I was having some feelings towards him I have started to likee him very much VERY much o I was falling fast for him! I think I'm in love I'm not sure but all the things that people say you feel when your in love I'm actually feeling them ya3nii whenever my phone vibrates indicating an msn message I jump from my seat excited to see what he's sent me o whenever he doesn't talk to me I miss him soo bad that my hear aches fearing that he's found someone else! Or whenever he tell's me I love you I scream through my pillow and my smile is so wide that my cheeks hurt! And I can't sleep at night unless I've talked to him and made sure that he's slept before me!

All the feeling that I've mentioned are the symptoms of love isn't it?

A Mistake (13 b)

'3alia: ee?

3azeez: hal bint ihya intay...

I was shocked I was seriously shocked I blushed I felt goose bumps all over my body madree yimkin la2naa its the first time any guy has ever said that to me wila la2na the fact that he really liked me or even loved me I'm not sure what it was but I swear it was one hell of a feeling.

But he knows ana moo chthee o ana I know ina I can't take any futher steps all I kan do is talk to him on msn my morals don't allow me I wasn't raised in a community that allowed boys in my life, I know that even talking to him on msn was a mistake a big one bas ileee 9ar 9ar

Ya3nii bil bidaya kint a7asb ina il salfaa '6i7ik o wanasaa bas I think glibat jad il7eeen let's just wait and see I hope he's not serious..

'3alia: 3azeez bas i7na itifa8na ina we just stay friends!

3azeez: adree walla adree bas shasawee ya3nee I can't control my feelings

'3alia: bas ana magdar a36eek ilee tabee

3azeez: I know I'm not expecting anything '3alia

I felt so bad ya3niii 9ij how can he control his feelings bas waiit waiit he's a guy o most guys li3eeba fa la9adgaa a7sanleee for now la9adig alla yaster inshallaa it all turns out well


( Adreee my posts wayed g9aar bas ba7awil gad ma agdar I post now I posted gabil class o inshallaa I post il3a9er or bilayl :D)

A Mistake (13a)

A month has passed and we were inseparable we talked all day and night he would sleep while talking to me I would get upset but he has his way into making up for what he did

Every night! Literally every night he sleeps while I'm talking to him I got thr hang of it so I stopped getting upset.

When he's at work he couldn't use his phone all the time I would be at school fa 3adii he would leave work at 1:30 I talk to him from then

3azeez: ilyowm guess minoo biyeeey iyzoorna???

'3alia: mino?

3azeez: intaay guess!

'3alia: dandoon!!!!

3azeez: EEEEEEE
( Dunaa is the cutest thing ever mashallaaa she's chubby o itshawiiig she's only 3 o walla a7la yahiiil shift,ha I'm so inlove with her!!)

'3alia: may9eeeeer :'( abeeee ayeeey azooorkoom

3azeez: ta3alaaay wallaaa 3adii agool 7ag omee inich rifeejat saroon
( Sara is his nephew he's very close wiyaha she's like his best friend cuz the age difference is only a year china )

'3alia: hehehehehe laaaa fashlaaa shakooo

3azeez: wallaaa 3adii

'3aliaa: laa 3azeezaan 7adaa fashlaa

3azeez: hehehehe madree kayfich

'3alia: anaa a9laan 3ala yowm ib tilga dunaa mabyooga min baitkom moo ilaa tdig 3al shr6aa tilgahaa 3indee

3azeez: laaaaa i5thaaay ay a7ad min il yahaaal ileee dandoon hathee il '3alyaa walla msawyaa jaww 3indinaa

'3alia: maleee shi'3iil wallaaa abeeeha :(


In the evening he talked to me

3azeez: '3alooya

'3alia: hallaaa

3azeez: '3alia tathkireen mara giltlich 3an bint wayed ib 5a6ree o a7ibha o widee agoolaha bas madree shlown agolaha?

'3alia: ee?

3azeez: '3alooya hal bint ........

A Mistake (12)

I know its been a very long time since I've posted bas kaaa a post o inshallaaaaa itshofona long cuz 6awalt wana aktiba
Enjoyyy o sorry 3al ta25eer again :***
Most of the convos Ive copied and pasted so itha fee any spelling mistakes 6awfaw please ;p

I think he's trying to tell me something by being indirect

laa laa laaa matwa8a3 3aneee I don't want to keep my hopes up and he knows I would never be that type of girl

'3alia: ee goolaha

3azeez: agoolich mo now3ha a5af agolaaha she doesn't think of me nafs gabil

'3alia: wait for the right time 3ayal

3azeez: hatha ilee biy9eer

He didn't mention that girl again o ana mayibt 6aree il maw'6oo3

Something that 3azeez and I had in common and we both adored was swimming and the sea we both loved the sea we adored it both of us wouldnt mind living in the middle of it

It was around october I was at home and he was at work

'3alia: 3azeeeezaan

3azeez: 3yoona

'3alia: :$ hehehehe 3azeeez abeee arooo7 il ba7ar mayta abee asbaa7

3azeez: tabeeen americh awadeech

He knew what my answer would be but he wanted to try his luck this time

'3alia: wain twadene?

3azeez: akoo mokan ana kila aro7la ma7ad iydila il ba7ar minaaak 5ayaal o bas fee ajanib ya3nee ta5theen ra7tich o ma7ad iyshoofich

He told me the name of the place but I dont want to mention it

'3alia: wadayt a7ad min gabil?

3azeez: ee my ex

Madree laysh bas i felt offended ya3nee madree gimt ma7ib lama he tells me things like that

'3alia: oohh o tsbi7oon ya3nee 3adii jdam il nas?

3azeez: eee 7ada 3adii o kanat talbis bikinii ba3ad

Hneee 3a9abt like seriously that's not something that you should've said

'3alia: mmmmm

3azeez: shino mmmm

'3alia: bas mmmm

3azeez: matabeen awadeech ?

'3alia: u know i cant

3azeez: ee adree adree

One time I was going to leave for lunch with my mom and cousins so I told him

'3alia: zeeez

3azeez: halaa

'3alia: ba3ad shway baroo7 at'3ada bara wiya my mom o cousins

3azeez: wain?

'3alia: 360

3azeez: bayey

'3alia: laysh?

3azeez: abee ashoofich

'3alia: laa 3azeez plzz magdar

3azeez: alla iy5aleech '3alia bas bashoofich mn b3eed walla magarib bas abee a3arif shaklich

'3alia: bas magdar ma3ay omee o I know my expressions ra7 yf'6i7oone ya3nee omee btla7i'6 o ana magdar tshoofnee inta tadree ina magdar

3azeez: ok 5ala9 many yay

'3alia: plz lat3a9ib walla magdar ya3nee law agdar chan 5alaytik tshoofne bas ana magdar plzz ifhamnee

3azeez: ok i get it mo m3a9ib

'3alia: lool 5owsh dagra

3azeez: shako

'3alia: madree radik yadger

3azeez: laa walla shakoo :*

He asked to see me a couple of times o each time I give excuses lets hope he doesnt ask again because im kind of running out of excuses.....

Hi ;D

WOW its actually been a long time since iv'e written a post.
Ta5ayilaw ineee kint nasya my blogs pass o 9arlee sneeen a3abil just now 9ar feenee why dont i try this pass wila yishti'3illll
shilt.haa yibaab bil baiiit o 9afgaaaa
soo madam inee im writing this post ya3nee akeed I'll be finishing up the story
Missed You guys
love u :****

عيدكم مبارك :*

عيدكم مبارك أو عساكم من العايدين والفايزين
Ok now baktib bil english cuz sa3a bas 3ashan I type sorry I didn't post cuz kan my b-day o ba3dayn lowya now shway 3ashan il 3eed bas wa3ad 3eediteee likom a post tonight :D
Love u :***
O 3eedkom imbarak